I saw an old acquaintance at the park yesterday and was chatting for a minute about our families. After hearing we were doing foster care, she mentioned how they had thought about it, but she could never give them back. I said, "Yep, that's what everyone says!" (Hopefully in a cheerful, polite tone of voice...) I have heard that way more times than I can count. Sometimes I want to laugh and yell back, "Yeah, and I'm some sort of heartless, unattached person that will have no trouble at all giving them back, right?!?" Other things I have heard: "I could never do that." "It must take a certain type of person." And the thing that makes me laugh over and over is that I'M NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON!! I have never felt like such a hopeless failure over and over again! I CAN'T DO THIS EITHER! It's way more than I can handle emotionally. And usually I feel like it's more than I can handle physically. But the thing that has been holding me up when I feel like I am at the end of myself once again is that my God is that type of God. I am finding out if I truly believe what he promises me in His Word. Is his grace sufficient for me? Do ALL things really work together for good for those who love God? Are my present troubles truly light and momentary compared to the eternal weight of glory waiting for me? Do I believe that I am not held in slavery to a spirit of fear, but that I have received the Spirit of adoption as a son of God, a fellow heir with Christ? Is the Lord my stronghold, and the rock of my refuge? Will he strengthen me, help me, and uphold me with his righteous right hand? Has he redeemed me and called me by name and therefore I have nothing to fear? Even if all of this ends in a very hard way, can I still rejoice in the Lord and take joy in the God of my salvation like Habakkuk did? These truths are utterly amazing!
How can I find hope in anything other than the fact that I serve a sovereign God? Nothing in my life has ever been totally out of my control in so many ways and that itself has been such a blessing. In the early stages of getting ready to start the capital campaign at URC, Kevin was talking about how this is something we will only be able to do by God's grace and how we don't get the chance to do things that fall into that category very much these days in America because it often seems that we can take care of things pretty well on our own. It hit me so hard because I remember thinking when he said that, "What? I feel like I can't do ANYTHING on my own right now! I feel like everyday I am trying to swim out of the waves of complete overwhelm and the only thing that keeps me sane is the grace of God, sometimes moment by moment. I thought that was normal." Praise the Lord that he has given me a glimpse of needing to truly rely on him instead of myself. And Praise the Lord that this is true:
8 “Remember this and stand firm,
recall it to mind, you transgressors,
9 remember the former things of old;
for I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me,
10 declaring the end from the beginning
and from ancient times things not yet done,
saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,
and I will accomplish all my purpose,’
11 calling a bird of prey from the east,
the man of my counsel from a far country.
I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass;
I have purposed, and I will do it.
12 “Listen to me, you stubborn of heart,
you who are far from righteousness:
13 I bring near my righteousness; it is not far off,
and my salvation will not delay;
I will put salvation in Zion,
for Israel my glory.” Isaiah 46:8-11
I need not fear the future. He knows and purposed the end from the beginning.
"The LORD answered Moses, 'Is the LORD'S arm too short? You will now see whether or not what I say will come true for you." Numbers 11:23
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
The Potty Trainer and her fan club
I finally gave in after Maizy was telling me every SINGLE time her diaper was wet and starting to change them herself. She got the potty part right away ("I did it! I turned the water lellow!!"), but we had a few number 2's in the underwear. Yesterday we had a big victory though! Both liquid and solid went into the toilet and she got 10 whole m&m's to celebrate. (I'm sure it helped that she had a personal cheerleader with her every step of the way). So at this point, we have 5 down, one to go...
Thursday, June 2, 2011
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