Back to the heartland

Lately we've been pretty consumed with adoption related issues, as we've had some hard stuff in that area. However, in one week from today we head down to U of M for a sedated echo to get a good look at the heart function of our sweet baby Lou. This appointment will kind of determine what the next 6 months will look like for Louisa and make sure it's ok to wait until Spring for the big bad Fontan. And just like that, the needle on the record player in my brain screeches and abruptly changes the subject of the noise from adoption stuff back to the heartland. I start reading blogs/facebook groups/googling more. I find myself fine tuning our "Baby Louisa" playlist to make sure there's enough good music on there in case we end up in the hospital sooner than later. I have to do more mental work to prevent seeing the various faces of our doctors and surgeons coming into the room with bad news over and over again in my head. I stare longer at that sweet girl bobbing around the room. I pray harder and I cry more easily.

We just started a series on Exodus a few weeks ago at church that has been off. the. hook. Really, ridiculously perfect for both of my big issues and once again I am thankful for the Lord's tender and specific care through his Word and the preaching of it. A few weeks ago it was good old Moses in the basket and Pastor talked about how Moses' mother was a woman of remarkable courage motivated not by fear of Pharaoh, but fear of the Lord and faith in his promises. How I long for that remarkable courage! "Sometimes the bravest thing a mom can do is to let go of the child that belongs to God even more than it ever belonged to her." AHHHH! That's right. We're gonna put our baby in the basket again, push her off, lay her down at the alter again, and trust our God, who cares for her more than we could ever imagine to.

And then 2 weeks ago was that wonderful passage where God heard, remembered, saw, and knew his people. A story of divine deliverance, even though it looked like slavery for 430 years. I am so glad we know that our trials won't last for 430 years! It was so good, it got written on the board as a reminder:

So anyway, prayers appreciated for a nice, boring clinic appointment on Monday. Our whole family could really use a few more months of down time before we head back to start the roller coaster ride of another open heart surgery.

And here is a quote that Nick just found for me, I think it's lovely and a good common grace reminder to never give up hope. It is essential on this journey.

"The physician should encourage parents to allow the cardiac child to lead as normal a life as possible. He should remind them not to spoil the child. Both physician and parent should maintain a cheerful outlook, this is certainly justifiable, as a malformation which cannot be helped at the present time may well become amenable to surgery in the near future."  -Helen Taussig, 1898-1986, pioneer in pediatric cardiology

can't. get. enough.

Still one of her dad's favorite activities to do with her

Doing some serious reading

She caught me taking a picture and flashed that famous cheeseball smile