The Lord is kind in all his works

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
    and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
    my salvation and my God.

Ps. 42:11

It's been a rough couple of days.  I (Carissa) feel like I have simply been crying out, "How long, O Lord?" quite a bit and asking for mercy again for my baby and for the rest of the kids.  I know the Lord is sovereign over every little detail in Louisa's life and in our family's life, but it feels like the little details just haven't been going well and we're so tired!  Can't we catch a break here, Lord?  After her cath to place the picc line yesterday, we found out that the femoral veins in both of her legs were already occluded and are most likely unusable for future caths and central lines (which she will need in June for her next surgery) and they had to place the line through her liver.  That was another unexpected piece of bad news after finding out the day before that she will likely be in the hospital for a minimum of another week while they try to figure out why she is having the GI bleed.  And when I start to think of trying to make more plans for the kids, transportation to things, leaving Louisa, splitting time with Nick between home and hospital, I want to throw up!  I can't do it anymore!

So this morning when I woke up at the hospital by myself, I was not feeling super full of exuberant faith and hope.  But then I got three different texts/emails that gave me little reminders of where my hope lies (will I ever not need constant reminders?):

You are a hiding place for me;  you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.  Ps. 32:7

¹⁷ The Lord is righteous in all his ways
    and kind in all his works.
¹⁸ The Lord is near to all who call on him,
    to all who call on him in truth.
¹⁹ He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
    he also hears their cry and saves them.  Ps. 145

"Sometimes the spark of faith is light and does not make the darkness bright, but keep it lit and you will find far better this than being blind. One little flame when all is night proves there is such a thing as light. Remember now the place and price where Jesus promised paradise, one answered prayer when all is gone will give you hope to wait for dawn." - excerpt from a poem on Job by John Piper.

And then my dear friend Heidi made a call and set up a couple things to take care of the kids so I didn't even have to think about it... and I was trying to figure out dinner for Thursday night.  I started to text my dear Aunt Judy to ask if she could possibly find someone that could bring some food (again, ugh!) because Nick and I were both going to try and be at the hospital that night.  WHILE I was texting her, I received a text FROM her that said our dear Chinese friends asked her if they could bring us a meal on Thursday because that day is Louisa's 100th day of life and that is an important day in Chinese culture!  The Lord literally fulfilled that need perfectly before I even asked.  Just a little reminder that He DOES care about the details and that He is kind and likes to give good gifts to his children.

Thank you Lord for your Word and for the many dear brothers and sisters that hold us up again and again when we simply can't do it anymore.  You have given us much mercy, when we deserve none.  We will keep asking for more.  

  

  Bless the Lord, O my soul,

    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name!
² Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits,
³ who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
⁵ who satisfies you with good
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.  Ps. 103